In the two months since the Supreme Court of Canada released its decision in Ahluwalia v. Ahluwalia, 2026 SCC 16, recognizing a new tort of intimate partner violence (IPV) rooted in coercive control, the family law community has produced a wave of discussion, published commentary, and CPDs. Nearly all of it, understandably, centres on the survivor: her experiences, her rights, her damages, her long-delayed vindication after a legal system that historically underestimated the cumulative harm of coercive control.
What has been almost entirely absent from this conversation is any discussion of the perpetrator – not as a legal problem to be adjudicated, but as a person who, once found liable or convicted, still has to go somewhere and do something differently.
This article is an attempt to fill that gap.
A necessary caveat: nothing that follows should be read as minimizing, excusing, or rationalizing abusive conduct. The point is the opposite. If lawyers, judges, social workers, and mediators end a case of IPV, we may lose the opportunity likely to prevent the next victim. Punishment without remediation simply relocates the harm.
Family law professionals are trained, correctly, to prioritize the safety and dignity of survivors. But a perpetrator who leaves a lawyer’s office, courtroom, or jail with no path to genuine behavioural change is a perpetrator who is statistically likely to repeat the pattern – just with a new partner, a new family, a new set of children. Referring a client who has been found to have perpetrated IPV toward appropriate support is not an act of leniency. It is harm prevention for the next person in that relationship.
Divorce professionals working with clients who have been identified as perpetrators of IPV (actual or alleged) should be aware of several categories of intervention: anger-management courses, parenting programs, counselling, and mental health and substance use programs, where suitable.
Anger-management and behaviour-change programs: These are distinct from generic anger-management courses marketed to the public. Programs specifically designed around partner abuse – often called Partner Assault Response (PAR) programs in Ontario, or similar batterer intervention programs elsewhere in Canada – are structured around accountability, recognizing patterns of coercive control, and the impact of that behaviour on children and partners, rather than simply teaching stress-reduction techniques. Professionals should be careful not to conflate the two; a generic anger-management course is a poor substitute for a program built around the dynamics of coercive control specifically.
Parenting programs: Many jurisdictions offer parenting-after-separation programs with a specific stream, or supplementary module, addressing high-conflict separations involving a history of family violence. These programs focus on co-parenting safely, understanding the effects of exposure to IPV on children, and rebuilding a parenting relationship without control tactics.
Counselling and mental health supports. Individual therapy, particularly with clinicians trained in trauma-informed or forensic psychotherapy, can address the underlying drivers of controlling behaviour – attachment insecurity, untreated trauma, or personality-level rigidity – that a court-ordered program alone will not resolve.
Substance use programs. Where substance use intersects with the abusive conduct, referral to an addictions counsellor or treatment program should run in parallel with, not instead of, IPV-specific intervention. Substance treatment addresses a contributing factor; it does not, by itself, address the belief system underlying coercive control.
Many clients – whether out of denial, shame, or simple unfamiliarity with the system – will not act on a referral unless it is handed to them thoughtfully. When building a referral list for clients found to have perpetrated IPV, professionals should be aware of the breadth of what may be available locally. As with any referral list shared directly with a client, it should be built for usability – specific program names, direct phone numbers, and precise URLs – since a long, undifferentiated list can itself become a barrier for someone trying to engage.
It is also worth building the list in tiers: an immediate first call (often a PAR-style or batterer intervention intake line), a parenting program contact, and a mental health or substance use referral, rather than a single undifferentiated page of resources. Professionals should periodically verify that phone numbers and intake criteria are current, since these programs frequently have waitlists, eligibility screens, or funding changes that can silently break a referral list over time.
Ahluwalia is, rightly, being read as a landmark for survivors. But every survivor’s experience of IPV involves a perpetrator, and every perpetrator who never receives meaningful intervention is a risk to someone else down the line. Professionals who work with this population are not being asked to soften accountability. They are being asked to close a gap that, left open, guarantees the cycle continues.
This article was recently published in LEXIS NEXIS’ Law360® Canada at https://www.law360.ca/ca/family/articles/2507846/what-do-we-owe-the-perpetrator-in-the-wake-of-ahluwalia-
Steve Benmor, B.Sc., LL.B., LL.M. (Family Law), C.S., Cert.F.Med., C.Arb., FDRP PC, Acc.D.C., is a full-time Divorce Mediator/Arbitrator and principal lawyer of Benmor Family Law Group, a boutique matrimonial law firm in downtown Toronto. He is a Certified Specialist in Family Law, a Certified Specialist in Parenting Coordination and was admitted as a Fellow to the prestigious International Academy of Family Lawyers. Steve is regularly retained as a Divorce Mediator/Arbitrator and Parenting Coordinator. Steve uses his 30 years of in-depth knowledge of family law, court-room experience and expert problem-solving skills in Divorce Mediation/Arbitration to help spouses reach fair, fast and cooperative divorce settlements without the financial losses, emotional costs and lengthy delays from divorce court.
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