People from all walks of life separate and divorce.
People from every race, religion and culture separate and divorce.
People with special needs, learning disorders, cognitive impairment, ADHD, dyslexia, mood disorders, anxiety, depression and schizophrenia separate and divorce.
The task of the Family Mediator is to avoid the inclination to label a spouse who is different than them, or different than their spouse, or that exhibits a difference, deficit or dysfunction.
The duty of the Family Mediator is to instead understand how their differences require accommodation in their dispute resolution pathway.
Just like Martin Seligman (2005) described Positive Psychology as a movement away from labeling a person as to what is wrong with them, but rather understanding the person in terms of their talents, aptitude and abilities, the Family Mediator must understand how such traits influence the process.
Family Mediators need to avoid erroneously classifying different behaviour as a deficiency, when it may be the spouse’s different ethnicity, culture, heritage or neurodiversity that explains it.
Neurodiversity is used to refer to variations in the human brain regarding sociability, learning, attention, mood and other mental functions.
Because of this, it is important for the Family Mediator to be aware of the relevant contextual make-up of a spouse including their culture, race, ethnicity, religion and place of origin.
What is useful about understanding diversity and neurodiversity is that it results in a more balanced, respectful and effective approach to Family Mediation.
[*Neurodiversity as a concept is generally credited to Judy Singer from her self-published paper “Neurodiversity: The birth of an idea (2016).]
Editorial Note: Originally published in 2024, this article offers a thoughtful reminder that divorce mediation must adapt to the diverse needs of families—including cultural background, mental health, and neurodiversity. It advocates for inclusive, strength-based approaches that avoid assumptions and support equitable resolution.
Steve Benmor, B.Sc., LL.B., LL.M. (Family Law), C.S., Cert.F.Med., C.Arb., FDRP PC, is the founder and principal lawyer of Benmor Family Law Group, a boutique matrimonial law firm in downtown Toronto. He is a Certified Specialist in Family Law, a Certified Specialist in Parenting Coordination and was admitted as a Fellow to the prestigious International Academy of Family Lawyers. Steve is regularly retained as a Divorce Mediator/Arbitrator and Parenting Coordinator. Steve uses his 30 years of in-depth knowledge of family law, court-room experience and expert problem-solving skills in Divorce Mediation/Arbitration to help spouses reach fair, fast and cooperative divorce settlements without the financial losses, emotional costs and lengthy delays from divorce court.
Share this article on: