After mediating hundreds of divorces – many involving older adults – I have learned that marriage is far more than a legal arrangement or emotional bond. It’s also a social structure with real implications for our mental, physical, and cognitive health.
For years, the prevailing wisdom was that being married protected people from loneliness, ill health, and dementia. But a new study, released in March 2025 by the National Alzheimer’s Coordinating Center (NACC), challenges this narrative in surprising and important ways.
As a divorce mediator, I often see spouses at a crossroads – particularly older adults navigating the complex emotional terrain of ending a marriage after decades together. These clients frequently ask themselves whether they are choosing freedom at the expense of their future health. Until now, many professionals might have warned them of the risks to their mental and cognitive well-being. But this study introduces a more nuanced – and hopeful – perspective.
Contrary to conventional belief, this NACC study found that older adults who are divorced, widowed, or never married were less likely to be diagnosed with dementia than their married counterparts – even after controlling for age, sex, education, depression, and genetic predispositions. This finding persisted across types of dementia, including Alzheimer’s Disease and Lewy Body Dementia, although no clear association was found for Vascular Dementia or mild cognitive impairment.
For those of us working with divorcing older adults, this is a paradigm shift. Historically, the “marital resource model” has shaped how we think about aging and health – suggesting that marriage offers social, emotional, and economic benefits that safeguard cognitive longevity. But this new research reveals a more complex truth: the quality of relationships, and the social support structures that remain or evolve after marriage ends, may be just as important as marriage itself – if not more so.
One of the most intriguing insights from the study is that the quality of the marriage may be the true determinant of health outcomes, not the mere fact of being married. Unhappy marriages, marked by chronic stress, isolation, or even caregiver burnout, may actually elevate dementia risk. In contrast, individuals who are divorced may experience gains in happiness, life satisfaction, and even social connection – factors increasingly associated with cognitive resilience.
Widowed individuals, particularly men, may face steeper cognitive challenges – though the study noted that some also expand their social networks after bereavement, offering a counterbalance. Never-married individuals, often presumed to be isolated, were in fact more likely to maintain active friendships and social participation – protective behaviours in the fight against cognitive decline.
These findings underscore what many of my clients have long intuited: that exiting a stressful, stagnant, or emotionally harmful relationship can lead to psychological rejuvenation. And now we know – potentially cognitive protection, too.
It’s important to acknowledge a key caveat: married individuals may simply be more likely to receive a diagnosis of dementia because their spouses notice the early signs – the forgotten appointments, the personality shifts, the missed medications – and bring them to clinical attention. Unmarried people, without a live-in partner, may fly under the radar for longer.
But the NACC study accounts for this by using longitudinal, standardized clinical evaluations over 18 years – reducing the likelihood that these findings are simply due to who shows up at the doctor’s office. Indeed, the study suggests that the protective role of being unmarried is not just an illusion caused by diagnostic bias.
For those of us guiding older clients through the emotional and logistical labyrinth of divorce, this research offers both clarity and comfort. It tells us that staying in a marriage for the sake of health – especially when that marriage is strained or harmful – may be misguided.
Divorce, particularly when it leads to renewed autonomy, stronger friendships, and psychological well-being, may not harm one’s cognitive future. In some cases, it may protect it.
This study also reminds us of the importance of integrating mental health, social support, and even medical coordination into our work as mediators. Divorce is not just a legal process; it’s a health journey. We need to ask: How will this client live after divorce? What support networks will they rely on? Are they investing in their social and emotional health?
The NACC study doesn’t glorify divorce or denigrate marriage. Rather, it reframes how we understand relationships and brain health in later life. The lesson is not that marriage is bad or that divorce is universally protective. It’s that context matters – and that autonomy, happiness, and social connection, whether within or beyond marriage, may be the true defenders against cognitive decline.
For older adults contemplating divorce, and for the professionals who support them, this is an empowering message: the end of a marriage is not the end of well-being. In fact, for some, it might just be the beginning of a clearer, healthier mind.
STUDY LINK: https://alz-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/alz.70072
This article was recently published in LexisNexis LAW360 at: https://www.law360.ca/ca/family/articles/2335082/does-divorce-lead-to-decline-in-mental-health-.
Steve Benmor, B.Sc., LL.B., LL.M. (Family Law), C.S., Cert.F.Med., C.Arb., FDRP PC, is the founder and principal lawyer of Benmor Family Law Group, a boutique matrimonial law firm in downtown Toronto. He is a Certified Specialist in Family Law, a Certified Specialist in Parenting Coordination and was admitted as a Fellow to the prestigious International Academy of Family Lawyers. Steve is regularly retained as a Divorce Mediator/Arbitrator and Parenting Coordinator. Steve uses his 30 years of in-depth knowledge of family law, court-room experience and expert problem-solving skills in Divorce Mediation/Arbitration to help spouses reach fair, fast and cooperative divorce settlements without the financial losses, emotional costs and lengthy delays from divorce court.
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