Most people believe that a good lawyer is someone who is smart, forceful and persuasive. For the most part, these qualities are in fact very important in a lawyer. However, many people forget that most of what a lawyer does is interpersonal in nature. That is, lawyers are required to be active listeners, collaborators and problem-solvers. After all, anybody that needs a lawyer, needs someone to help them solve their problem. The solution is not always found in a courtroom where being persuasive is the only needed quality. The courtroom is the last place to resolve a dispute. There has been a wave of growth in the field of alternative dispute resolution (ADR) which includes negotiation, mediation and neutral evaluation. In the field of ADR, lawyers who are forceful advocates often are unable to arrive at a early, fair and inexpensive solution to their client’s problems. Some would say that this is as a result of their ego. Some lawyers feel they need to be right and therefore such bravado may hinder a speedy resolution and lead to unnecessary litigation and cost.
So when selecting a lawyer, think about the other skills that are important in the lawyer that you select. Here is a list of the top 10 soft skills that are needed by your lawyer:
- Being a good listener and communicator
- Showing empathy and strong emotional intelligence
- Having a healthy sense of curiosity and open-mindedness
- Open to feedback and being adaptable
- Being comfortable with collaboration and teamwork
- Being a creative thinker
- Liked by his or her coworkers and other lawyers
- Appreciating the politics of law
- Recognized as a leader and teacher
- Having a sense of humor
Editorial Note: Originally published in 2019, this article highlights the often-overlooked soft skills that are essential for lawyers—particularly in family law and alternative dispute resolution. Steve Benmor draws from decades of experience to offer insight into the interpersonal qualities that help clients reach fair, timely settlements without unnecessary conflict. These observations remain highly relevant in today’s evolving legal landscape.
Steve Benmor, B.Sc., LL.B., LL.M. (Family Law), C.S., Cert.F.Med., C.Arb., FDRP PC, is the founder and principal lawyer of Benmor Family Law Group, a boutique matrimonial law firm in downtown Toronto. He is a Certified Specialist in Family Law, a Certified Specialist in Parenting Coordination and was admitted as a Fellow to the prestigious International Academy of Family Lawyers. Steve is regularly retained as a Divorce Mediator/Arbitrator and Parenting Coordinator. Steve uses his 30 years of in-depth knowledge of family law, court-room experience and expert problem-solving skills in Divorce Mediation/Arbitration to help spouses reach fair, fast and cooperative divorce settlements without the financial losses, emotional costs and lengthy delays from divorce court.
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