When we think about abuse in relationships, our minds often go straight to the physical or emotional. But there’s another form—quieter, harder to see—that can be just as damaging: financial abuse.
Financial abuse occurs when one partner uses money as a tool to control, manipulate, or dominate the other. It can happen in any relationship, across all income levels, and it often hides behind the surface of “normal” money disagreements.What Financial Abuse Looks Like
Financial abuse isn’t always about one person earning more money—it’s about restricting access to financial independence. It might include:
- Controlling all bank accounts and not allowing the other spouse to see statements or know the household’s financial situation.
- Forbidding employment or sabotaging job opportunities to keep the other person financially dependent.
- Rationing money for basic needs while spending freely themselves.
- Racking up debt in the other person’s name without consent.
- Withholding child or spousal support post-separation as a way to pressure or punish.
Because money touches every aspect of life—housing, food, healthcare, mobility—control over finances can quickly become control over freedom.
Why It’s So Hard to Spot
Financial abuse often develops gradually. At first, a spouse might offer to “handle the finances” because they’re “better with numbers.” Over time, the other partner may find themselves with no bank cards, no knowledge of passwords, and no idea how much they own or owe.
In some cases, victims don’t even realize they’re being abused until they try to leave—and discover they have no financial resources to start over.
During Divorce, the Tactics Can Intensify
The end of a marriage can escalate financial abuse. Common tactics in divorce include:
- Deliberately delaying disclosure of financial documents.
- Hiding assets or transferring property to friends or family.
- Making frivolous legal motions to drain the other spouse’s funds.
- Refusing to pay interim support despite court orders.
These behaviours are designed to create exhaustion, fear, and dependency—pushing the other spouse to settle for less just to end the fight.
Protecting Yourself
If you suspect you’re experiencing financial abuse—whether during your marriage or in the divorce process—consider:
- Document everything: Keep copies of bank statements, tax returns, property deeds, and any communications about money.
- Open your own account: Even a small emergency fund can be a lifeline.
- Work with trusted professionals: A family lawyer, financial advisor, or accountant who understands abuse dynamics can protect your rights.
- Seek support: This is not just a legal issue—it’s also an emotional one. Lean on friends, counsellors, or domestic violence organizations.
The Bigger Picture
Financial abuse isn’t just a private problem—it’s a societal one. Survivors often face long-term economic hardship, lower retirement savings, and reduced career opportunities. By talking about it openly, we can help remove the stigma and encourage earlier intervention.
Money should never be used as a weapon. If you or someone you know is facing financial abuse, know that you have options, and that there are professionals ready to help you rebuild not just your finances, but your freedom.
Editorial note: This article was first published on LinkedIn in August 2025 and is republished here for reference.
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