When a couple divorces in Ontario while their children are minors, the goal of the family court system is to help them continue to have healthy relationships with their children, even after the parents are no longer married to each other. Unfortunately, custody, and the issue of parental decision-making, are often one of the most contentious issues in a divorce, and one of the most difficult topics to resolve without resorting to litigation.
A judge ruling in favour of one party or the other is a last resort in family law cases. Ontario courts strongly prefer that parents come to an agreement outside of court on issues pertaining to their children. Despite this, almost every day in family court, judges are dealing with contested motions over issues such as the children’s extracurricular activities, haircuts, vaccinations, school relocations, piercings, travel, etc.
Family court judges rarely make decisions about basic day-to-day caretaking of children of divorce. They expect parents to work together and act in the best interest of the children to implement the parenting plan as agreed or ordered, and not involve the courts with every dispute. The problem is that many parents face challenges to communicate with each other on parenting issues, resulting in conflict. Multiple court hearings rarely solve the problems, and the children often get stuck in the middle.
Instead of returning to family court, parents can instead hire a Parenting Coordinator (also called a PC) to help resolve disputes. A PC will teach parents good communication skills, mediate disputes and, in some cases, make a binding decision that a court will honour if the parents cannot come to an agreement.
Parents in high-conflict situations are strongly encouraged to seek the services of a PC to assist them in staying out of court and reaching parenting solutions. Parenting Coordination is a process of dispute resolution, similar to mediation, that can help parents agree on issues pertaining to the children or, if they cannot agree, hold a summary arbitration over that issue and release a speedy award to end the conflict.
The Parenting Coordinator is not a judge nor an unbiased third party. Parenting Coordinators are highly trained and educated professionals working in the field of divorce. Some are lawyers, others are mental health professionals. In all cases, they have many years of professional expertise in the field of family law, parenting and child development. The educational requirements for Parenting Coordinators in Ontario are set out at https://www.fdrio.ca/certifications/
Parenting Coordination is much less expensive than litigation, but it is not free. The parents share the cost of the Parenting Coordinator. That is, the hourly rate of the Parenting Coordinator is shared by the two parents and is therefore much less than each parent paying for their own lawyer. Of course, nothing prevents each parent from having a lawyer represent them while also using a Parenting Coordinator.
In Ontario, Parenting Coordinators have now become a common tool used by divorced parents to manage all post-separation disagreements, outside of court, speedily and inexpensively.
Editorial Note: Originally published in 2018, this article continues to offer valuable insight into the role of Parenting Coordination in Ontario. While terminology and parenting laws have evolved slightly, the need for effective, child-focused conflict resolution remains just as important today. For families in high-conflict separations, Parenting Coordination is still a practical, affordable, and court-endorsed solution.
Steve Benmor, B.Sc., LL.B., LL.M. (Family Law), C.S., Cert.F.Med., C.Arb., FDRP PC, is the founder and principal lawyer of Benmor Family Law Group, a boutique matrimonial law firm in downtown Toronto. He is a Certified Specialist in Family Law, a Certified Specialist in Parenting Coordination and was admitted as a Fellow to the prestigious International Academy of Family Lawyers. Steve is regularly retained as a Divorce Mediator/Arbitrator and Parenting Coordinator. Steve uses his 30 years of in-depth knowledge of family law, court-room experience and expert problem-solving skills in Divorce Mediation/Arbitration to help spouses reach fair, fast and cooperative divorce settlements without the financial losses, emotional costs and lengthy delays from divorce court.
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