This past week, I argued what can only be described as an ordinary parenting motion. The issue before the court was familiar to anyone who practices family law: two parents who simply do not agree on a parenting schedule. One parent sought reduced parenting time; the other sought more. This type of dispute is, quite frankly, part and parcel of our daily work as divorce lawyers.
What made this motion different – and worth reflection – was the sub-text. I argued the motion on behalf of an orthodox Jewish father on the fourth day of Chanukah. In this case, the Clinical Investigator from the Office of the Children’s Lawyer issued a report recommending that all Jewish holidays be equally shared between the parents, including Chanukah. Given that four days of the holiday remained, I argued that the father should be granted additional parenting time with his daughter for the remaining days of Chanukah.
Opposing counsel (who is himself Jewish), argued on behalf of the mother who was seeking to restrict parenting time, that Chanukah is an “unimportant holiday” and therefore did not warrant any additional parenting time. Ultimately, the motions judge (who is not Jewish) did not grant the father any additional parenting time for Chanukah, effectively leaving almost the entirety of the holiday with the mother. The Endorsement included other terms of the parenting schedule in favour of the mother and ordered the father to pay her costs (further blows).
I have been thinking about this outcome ever since. We are living in an era of heightened sensitivity to Jewish concerns. Against that backdrop, one could view this result through several different lenses. It may be that the judge viewed this as a straightforward scheduling issue and that there was no need for “special” time for Chanukah, and no intention whatsoever to diminish the father’s religious observance. From that perspective, there was no reason to conflate a parenting dispute with questions of religious recognition.
At the same time, one might ask whether, when a Children’s Lawyer explicitly recognizes a parent’s religious observance and recommends equal sharing of religious holidays, the failure of a judge to decisively allocate time for that holiday risks sending an unintended message – particularly when the holiday is actively underway.
This is not an accusation. It is an honest question. I truly am curious. Is this a “Jewish issue”? What do you think? I’m interested in hearing your thoughts.
Steve Benmor, B.Sc., LL.B., LL.M. (Family Law), C.S., Cert.F.Med., C.Arb., FDRP PC, is the founder and principal lawyer of Benmor Family Law Group, a boutique matrimonial law firm in downtown Toronto. He is a Certified Specialist in Family Law, a Certified Specialist in Parenting Coordination and was admitted as a Fellow to the prestigious International Academy of Family Lawyers. Steve is regularly retained as a Divorce Mediator/Arbitrator and Parenting Coordinator. Steve uses his 30 years of in-depth knowledge of family law, court-room experience and expert problem-solving skills in Divorce Mediation/Arbitration to help spouses reach fair, fast and cooperative divorce settlements without the financial losses, emotional costs and lengthy delays from divorce court.
Editorial note: This article was first published on LinkedIn in December 2025 and is republished here for reference.
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