It was a busy week at BFLG.
This week, I concluded a two-week trial. For those who know me well, this was not just any trial — it was my last trial as a litigator. Closing submissions were delivered on Wednesday and Thursday, bringing that chapter of my professional life to a close after 32 years.
On Monday, I received minutes of settlement on another matter — a file that had been grinding through the courts for years before finally finding resolution. On Friday, I mediated a complex HNW case in med/arb to a full settlement.
If you are keeping count: three cases resolved in a single week — two settled, one trial concluded. By any measure, a significant week.
None of this happens without an extraordinary team. Our newest associate, Yashika Dhall successfully argued a motion in court this week and was integrally involved in my other matters — for which I am genuinely and deeply grateful. I won’t attempt to list everything the rest of the team accomplished — but I would be remiss not to acknowledge them by name: Leanne Townsend Jessica Brant Marigona Binakaj Arlen Atanasiu (Palfreyman) and Vanessa Phillip…I am so very grateful to be surrounded by such hardworking, dedicated family law professionals.
But this post is really about something deeper: what value did we actually bring to the clients we served this week?
Above BFLG’s exceptional legal and analytical skills, above our deep command of case law and legislation, above our mastery of legal drafting, above our persuasive oratory – the one quality that stands apart at BFLG is the human touch we extend to our clients at the moments they feel most isolated, most alone, and in some cases, most under attack.
The role of the family law lawyer in these moments is absolutely critical to the client’s state of mind, their mental health, and their physical health. After 32 years of representing clients in the courts of Ontario, it could not be clearer to me: the court system is simply not the right place for family law clients. It causes tremendous grief. It generates exorbitant costs that could otherwise have been avoided. And perhaps most painfully, it transforms the final chapter of a marriage into something resembling a war — where nobody exits unharmed.
We need not look far to understand the parallels. Whether it is Iran, Russia, Ukraine, Israel or Gaza – war produces carnage, economic destruction, and above all else, the destabilization of the family unit. The courtroom dynamic in family law is not so different. And the casualties are just as real.
So if not family court, then what?
After I wind down my remaining litigation files, I will be offering my services exclusively as a family and estates mediator/arbitrator – working with individuals who want to resolve their case in a way that preserves their dignity, minimizes financial cost, and protects the wellbeing of themselves, their children, and their grandchildren.
I will decline any retainer where I sense the objective is simply to pursue conflict for its own sake. As a conflict resolution professional, I can tell the difference between a client — or counsel — who genuinely wants to settle, and one who simply wants to perpetuate the fight.
I will help the former. I will decline the latter.
You will be hearing more from me on this in the weeks and months ahead.
Best wishes.
Steve Benmor, B.Sc., LL.B., LL.M. (Family Law), C.S., Cert.F.Med., C.Arb., FDRP PC, Acc.D.C., is a full-time Divorce Mediator/Arbitrator and principal lawyer of Benmor Family Law Group, a boutique matrimonial law firm in downtown Toronto. He is a Certified Specialist in Family Law, a Certified Specialist in Parenting Coordination and was admitted as a Fellow to the prestigious International Academy of Family Lawyers. Steve is regularly retained as a Divorce Mediator/Arbitrator and Parenting Coordinator. Steve uses his 30 years of in-depth knowledge of family law, court-room experience and expert problem-solving skills in Divorce Mediation/Arbitration to help spouses reach fair, fast and cooperative divorce settlements without the financial losses, emotional costs and lengthy delays from divorce court.
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