My wife, Samantha and I just came back from the Stratford Festival. We saw (and loved) the play RENT.
The main song from the play, “Seasons of Love”, has been ringing in my ear. I have been reading its lyrics. It’s amazing how art, in this case, musical theater, can project a light on humanity, family relationships, and, in my professional life, family breakdown, divorce and post-separation parenting.
RENT is a salute to the Bohemian life of a group of artists in New York City. These young artists living in Greenwich Village are pursuing careers, fame and love, while dealing with the AIDS crisis and struggling to pay their landlord rent, hence the name of the production.
Written by Jonathan D. Larson, “Seasons of Love” challenges us to think how we measure time. It asks the question: “How do you measure a year?”
After 30 years of divorce litigation, I have witnessed the subject of ‘time’, specifically ‘parenting time’, drive heightened conflict between parents of minor children, causing them to spend tens of thousands of dollars and years in high conflict litigation. I have been paid to argue, and hear arguments, of how critical it is for the children to spend more time with one parent than the other.
In the song, “Seasons of Love”, a year is said to constitute, numerically, 525,600 minutes. But then the song goes on to challenge the use of a numerical approach. It asks if the quantity of time can be measured in other ways, such as:
In daylights
In sunsets
In midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches
In miles
In laughter
In strife
This made me think that some of our clients might benefit from the advice offered by RENT, that maybe we should not focus on the numerical value of time that one parent has, or does not have, with their children, in favour of the quality of that time.
I used to have a sign that said “Don’t count the time: Make the time count“. That message, and RENT’s “Seasons of Love”, is good advice for separating parents who are locked in a high conflict divorce over the division of parenting time.
For the fans of RENT, I have re-produced the lyrics of “Seasons of Love” below:
Five hundred twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes.
How do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets.
In midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles.
In laughter, in strife.
In five hundred twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes.
How do you measure a year in the life?
How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love.
Seasons of love.
Seasons of love.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand journeys to plan.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes.
How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?
It’s time now to sing out.
Though the story never ends.
Let’s celebrate.
Remember a year in the life of friends.
Remember the love.
Remember the love, remember the love.
Love.
Measure in love.
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At Benmor Family Law Group, our multi-disciplinary team of divorce experts fully understands the emotional and financial impact of divorce. We will help you through separation, divorce, mediation, divorce coaching, and parent coordination, our full-service family law firm expertly supports you, guides you, and represents you – throughout your case.
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